you stole my heart

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

ive finally got hold of this yesterday.. after months of eyeing on it..this is an advanced bdae gift for myself.. with de help of Dee. and ive traded in my Samsung E600C which I couldnt bear to part with for this D500C. come to think of it, its been a ritual habit of chnging ph every yr on my bdae..in fact 9 phs over the past 6yrs of using hps.. technology do make wonders.

on the other hand, i feel soooo much HAPPIER today and the time spent was a well deserved one. i wish to have more of this. thank you for making my day.. looking forward to spend my 21st birthday with you in 22 days time. a memorable one it shall be, alrite?

:: ffy 11:26pm ::

Sunday, August 28, 2005

listening to: It cant be right-2PLAY (repeat mode)

dum di dum dum..
im still wide awake despite the clock showing 2.30am. had my evng nap, tt explains me being the night owl.
soooo much for the anticipated days. destress, destress and destress. whats de plan for la8 after school and wed may i know?? *rubbing my hands in glee*. so am looking forward to spend the night away..

i need more clothes. more bags. footwear. new dgcam. a new sofa set for mummy. a new hp. in fact i need more shopping trips.

uhhh yes, perhaps i WILL get a new hp courtesy of Dee. de hp tt ive been eyeing on. an advc bdae gift shall it be.. *shall not be too hopeful*

in need of fags. DAMN.
but im fasting la8. gdness.

:: ffy 02:40am ::

Friday, August 26, 2005

shes the apple of my eyes. our family's eyes. she brings joy in our household. she strenghtens the family bond. shes the naughty pussy cat. shes our darling fahimah@fimah. my little niece. wishing upon the star that my future lil darl will be just like her.

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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

bangkok.SPOTS.hougang.SCENERY.tp.CHOCOLATE BAR.hard rock.ECP MCAFE.bugis.TOWN.sengkang.ESPLANADE.

minus JAMS.mad monk.

there hold those memories. am missing these places intensely.

dear you,
just be reminded that im plagued with dilemma after dilemma, neverending-massive-unresolved situations and best of all, matters of the heart. tsskk tskkk how depressing my entry and i can be. and tts because the person whom im close with will end up hurting me as well..where is the old you? time had eaten part of you which i fell in love with??if only you know its YOU tt im talking abt.
do understand tt im not degrading nor am embarrassing you. if only YOU can read whats directly in my mind and listen to my heartbearts. if only YOU are able to depict these words.
if only YOU....if only YOU....if only YOU....

the "if" is a killer..

till then, i will make my presence invisible to your eyes and life..
:: 3:00am ::

Sunday, August 21, 2005

welcome me back with a warm hug..i need tt badly..

On the bright side
its suppose to be a HAPPY starting since ive regained the use of the internet,which explained my disappearance; am using the wireless netwk and truly addicted to the laptop which ive bought last week..the 2mths pay was a well deserved reward for myself..shopping spree with the bf right after the day we got our pay..paid bills, shopped for his stuffs, mom's and bro's. gave dad bux for his necessities as well..and tadaaa,half of the pay is gone. tQ very much.

On the other hand
Its been 3yrs 9mths we have been together; i HEART you even if I have to cross the deep ocean for you.

but how ironic it is tt im lost for words now and its depressing especially when im unsure what the future has in store for us..the challenges ive faced and am still facing are way tooooo much for me to handle. i kept asking myself where i had gone wrong all this while to be misjudged. was I a BITCH as what U (they) had claimed?? in what ways if U can enlighten me?? pls do ur homework before making any accusation. what lies beneath is not superficial. so i URGE U to come up and ask me in clearing the misunderstanding cos ive traded my HEART, PRIDE, HAPPINESS, and TRUST just for his love. tts how much i LOVE him. im DAMN saddened by the fact tt im being called names when my dad painstakingly had to come up with my name; SUFFY. why am i always dragged into their domestic issues? is it tt difficult to accept me into the family potrait? where lies my mistakes? what in the name of GOD do i deserve all this?

i have toooo many questions. pls do provide me with the answers.
as for now, i shall have a fag before hitting the sack.

i MISS him..

:: ffy 3:19am ::

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

NIE has been relatively quieter than TP.. i miss those HAPPENING days. and YES, no smoking in school obviously. which means theres a cut down in my fags. 1 box a week. which im TRYING to abstain though. BAD BAD attitude. but at least im not flaunting my UNCIVILISED behaviour in the eyes of the public. i guess dearest MUM is aware of my smoking which as always yours truly WILL DENY..

counting down to 12th Aug and i will be OKB:orang kaya baru (READ:new rich gal). its gonna be a helluva month of retail theraphy and payment of bills. tell me, what you gonna do with a 2mths take home pay tts worth $2.6K..and its only for this particular month. provided theres de year end bonus if we do BENEFIT for it. Nad, Cam and I had already planned our shopping list and destinations for this Saturday (if it doesnt falter) to pamper ourselves..

ive worked out my budget and hopefully theres enough for a laptop and a new hp. mentioning abt hp, im in 2 minds as to get de SAMSUNG D500C or to wait till my bdae. de BF and friends told me to just opt for it since ive been wanting it for long (READ:4mths). but having to part with 400+ or 500+ is a heart pain.

SO, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

:: ffy 01:55pm ::