you stole my heart

Friday, October 21, 2005

*breathes in breathes out*..

sleepless nights yet again. deadlines and the heavy workload are killers. at times i feel a tinge of regret for choosing this path. if only there isnt any 5yr-bond to be served. *sighhhhh*. i would be grateful then.

not looking forward for this year RAYA as on the 2nd day of the festive ive to submit a 1500-2000 words educational pyschology1 essay assignment. *double siiiighhhh*. furthermore ive not done any preparation for RAYA as im tied down with the tonnes of assignments tt are yet to be completed. perhaps im much more looking forward to the year end bonus. hopefully there is. for now, i can hardly breathe. still digesting the what nots. *triple siighhhhh*.

i hope that person will really change for HIMSELF. definitely for the better. im just someone that can advise and stand by him when shits happen. i guess ignorance is bliss. i should have not read whats not meant to be and just clear whatever is necessary with you upfront in the 1st place. yes, what is 4yrs compared to the 19 odd years. i realised tt. what a shit i am. but the hurt tt person caused was soooo intense. god noes how badly paranoid and traumatised i am NOW even after 1yr had passed. given the choice, i would want to take a step forward and leave everything behind. to forgive is not as easy as to forget..TRUST ME. but there's something that held me back......................

im still picking up myself. fixing the broken pieces of my heart. even after he made me fall time and again, i plucked up my pride and dignity. for you to be on gd terms back with HIM is easy. but for me to forget what HE had ever done is ......... just BEYOND MY ABILITY. perhaps who am i to be compared to you when it comes to what he did to us.. he might have hurt you like he hurts me. but you wouldn't want to be in my shoes. you wouldnt want to EVEN think of taking your own life cos it simply UNBEARABLE when dealing with HIM.. true enough NAD? i guess BLOOD is THICKER than water.

chill with these then..

my 2003 Stephen White Bk; 2nd best after Danielle Steel

my 2005; which I just bought this morning in school..

uhhh yesss, its the 3yrs 11 mth anni today.. so what if it is? wishing for more happiness and smooth sailing rship perhaps?

:: ffy 12.00am ::