you stole my heart

Saturday, November 22, 2003

how much i detest my life now, GOD noes..i'd rather be breathless than suffocate in this world, where noone give a damn FCUKING shit of my presence..when they're in need, im de 1st one whom they sought help from but when their life is in gd shape, im of no value and was chucked aside..how fair can it be? all i ask is for them to be appreciative of my kindness..too much for me to ask? NO its NOT. i dont ask for wealth in return. being appreciative of one's kindness is valueless. doesnt even require much of their time either. the only ppl who REALLY acknowledge my existence and solicitude are my gals and pillar of strength. i really luve them loads more than my parents and him. Y? at least they know tt im still visible to their eyes..i treat them as part of my family and i ADMIT i cant live wo them. i do luve my parents but not as much as my luve for the ppl as mentioned above.

i know life's not perfect and what's life wo probs but at least i could resolve conflicts and go thru thick and thin together with my gals and pillar of strength. but for him, he chose to run away from reality. im DRAINED and EXHAUSTED from being the only one who have to fend for myself. how i wish HE would just take away my life while im asleep..only then this heartless ppl will treasure me when im gone. i wanted BADLY to just take my own life which i did thrice but too bad im still alive. no pt of me living in this world tts full of so much ungratefulness. pillar of strength, I BEG U to take me away, to a plc far from here where noone can ever find me. i'd rather let de rship sink den let it float with a buoy. wats de use of clinging onto it if ders no reason for it to live?

with the state im in now, doubt i can really hold on tt long. with things at hm being so unpredictable, me resitting for my paper and bla bla bla...all i really need now is a GD LONG sleep, hoping for a better tomorrow, but it has never been any . its gonna be Raya soon, but life's as it is..no improvement nor nothing. where have i gone wrong or what did i do to deserve all this? give me a satisfied answer to all de qns asked. so far ders NONE. 730 days of being with u are like living in hell.

IT HURTS TO LUVE SOMEONE WHEN U CANT HAVE tt PERSON, IVE BEEN DER AND ALWAYS WILL BE DER..DE FEELINGS WILL NVR CEASE

ure de light of my life now and i never do want to switch it off for any reasons..

:: ffy 11:42pm::