you stole my heart

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Stole This from his email but doesnt seem to be jokes to me

Joke # 1

3 guys were introduced to a girl
Hi, I'm Peter not a saint.
I'm Paul not a Pope.
I'm John not a Baptist..
The girl replied: Hi! I'm Mary not a Virgin.

Joke # 2

Q: What was the cause of the break up between Prince Charles and Lady D?
A: Lady D discovers that not all rulers have 12 inches.

Joke # 3

Virgin male on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what to do.
MOM: Put your biggest thing on her hairiest thing.
SON: OK. I got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

Joke # 4

OLD MAN: Can you give me an erection?
FAITH HEALER: I can make the blind see, make the lame walk and I can even cure cancer, but I'm sorry I cannot raise the dead.

Joke # 5

2 employees were caught naked and having sex in the office by the guard.
GUARD: Aha! Violating company rules!
MAN: What rule?
GUARD: Not wearing uniforms.

Joke # 6

Q: What is the difference between Biology and Sociology?
A: If the baby looks like the father, that is biology. If he looks like the neighbour, that's sociology.

Joke # 7

Q: Define Impotence?
A: It's nature's way of saying "NO HARD FEELINGS"

Joke # 8

A husband was asked: Do you talk to you wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Joke # 9

At the movie house.
GIRL: Honey, the man beside me is masturbating.
BF: just ignore him dear.
GIRL: I can't. He's using my hand!!

Joke # 10

Q: Why was the 2 piece bikini invented?
A: To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

Joke # 11

Boy 1: why did you run away from the naked lady?
Boy 2: because my mom said that if I look at a naked lady I will turn to stone, and a part of me was already getting hard!!

Joke # 12

A camel and an elephant met.
The elephant asked the camel
Why do u have your breasts on your back?
The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty, replies
"What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face "